Is adoption on paper more valid than adoption of the heart?

 This is such a perplexing question.  I believe, it is a heart condition.   

I just heard this heart breaking story:    A woman marries a man and became the mom of his two children.  The wife/mom sadly passed away a few years prior.  This woman has been the mom for more than 30 years and although challenging, she loves her kids deeply.  The 2 children were a wedding gift from their dad and they were married for 18 years when their dad and her husband moved on.   The kids were adults but divorce is not easy at any age. 

The mom stayed involved with her kids lives and continued to love them.  Many of her friends thought she should walk away from the drama but she was committed and would not walk away even though it was very difficult at times.  Even the ex-husband said to walk away from HIS kids.  She would  not.  

This has been a very difficult 30 years but she continued to love them in difficult time and blessed times.  Fast forward, her oldest child just told here she was not her mom, never was and never will be.  She had a mom and her mom is dead.  "You are not my mom" she would shout.  She is nearly 50 yrs old and is suffering from the loss of her mom 35 years prior.

As this woman listen to the rant,  she then said, "feel however you like about it, but you will always be my daughter and that will never change".  

I know exactly how this woman feels.  Over the years I have been the mom and big sis to many young people.  Often they are more receptive to than my own children.  

I love my kids of whom I did not give birth to and is not on paper.  I have been divorced for more than a decade and I am the mom, the grandma and the one who will forever love them.  It is adoption of the heart.

Adult kids can harbor all sorts of bitterness which just eats at them through a life time.  I have found that the only way to get away from this bitterness is to forgive and move on.

"Remember not the things of the past for behold, I an doing a new thing". IS 1-19

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you. your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 

But if you do not forgive others, your Father in heaven will not forgive your sins."

Mt 9:14-15

As I am typing these two scriptures, they speak volumes to me and something to live by.  Carrying around old hurts and pain is something only Jesus can remove.  Let Jesus remove those hurts and live your full and happy life.  Yes, it takes work to forgive, I know that only to well but how much better is it to  live a life of Joy and not Sadness and Bitterness.

Yesterday is goneTomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin"