Do you eat with that mouth!

Ha Ha!  In years past you would hear that often, "Do you eat with that mouth?"  

I must be honest, profane language is assaulting to my heart.  When I hear the the word, F..., A..H.., G..D...., B.... and some others, it hurts, especially when it is someone you love, a young person, or just someone sitting near me in a restaurant.  

One day I was dining at an outdoor cafe along the beach.  It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was going to have a beautiful and delicious breakfast when 2 young men sat at the table right next to me.  With the smell of too much alcohol lofting my way, I thought: "Great! ruin my peaceful morning with the recount of last night along with language I was not looking for to".   Much to my surprise, not ONE foul word during their time at the table next to me.  Yes, they did recount the evening before, but without the language or the description I expected.  As they got up to leave, I stopped the one young man that was less hung over than the other and said, "I wanted to thank you for sitting here without using one profane word...Thank YOU!"  The couple on the other side of their table applauded to his surprise.  He giggled and said, "Really, it might have been an accident".   We had a very sweet conversation as I told him how offensive it is to have to hear that language.  He responded at one point, "Thank you!  I had no idea... I will be more careful from now on".  I was shocked and delighted.

I must say, there was a time in my life when I tried using the F word.  I was managing a restaurant and everyone used it and I thought it might be cool, so at 25 years old I added the F word to my vocabulary.  Much to my surprise, I was treated with much less respect than before so after a year of use, I stopped.  I stopped cold turkey!  No more bad language and I have never picked it up again.. yes, it has been more than 30 years sense I have used the F word.

After that year of using profane language, I was working at another restaurant.  At one point the Kitchen Manager called me into his office and asked, "Why don't your swear?"  I said, "It's noticeable?"  He said, "Absolutely!!!"   At the time, I was the only one in that restaurant that did not swear and I guess due to my lack of four letter words, I stood out as different.  I like that!!!  

Just a couple years ago, I was working in a hotel at the front desk.  I was shocked and amazed that everyone, I mean everyone, was in love with that four letter word.  OMG!!!  At the front desk and in front of Guests.  I could only handle it for 3 months and I moved on.  From there I went to a position with a Christian Conference Center where for nearly a year, I never heard the word except when out and about, off property.  Very refreshing!!!  Loved it.

Growing up I was told by my Grandparents and my mother that when you use bad language it just shows your lack of education.  I have always thought about that but in my mid-twenties I decided to take a try at the profane language thing.  I was working as a manager of a restaurant, everyone used the F word so I too started using it.  I tried it out for about a year and realized that I did not like how I was being treated, much less respect.  After a year, I stopped and never used it again.  I hate that word!

I understand that for some, they don't even know when they are using it.  Case point: I have a friend I use to go have coffee or a meal with.  I finally said I could not join him anymore due to his language.  He said, "I don't use bad language!" We agreed that every-time he used the word, F..., I would punch him in the arm.  Honestly, he was shocked that he used it so much.  After that example, he got very good at not using his previous language.   I thank him.  

Another example: I was watching the sunset along the boardwalk at the beach when a gentleman approached me. He asked if he could watch the sunset with me and I said, yes.  We had a 30 minute or so conversation when he asked me if I would join him to go listen to music.  I replied, "Well, I would but your language is so offensive, I do not think I could take a whole evening of it".  He said he would not use offensive language if I joined him.  I joined him, and he could not help it...he continued to use his terribly offensive language without even recognizing it.  I never joined him again. 

In bringing attention to poor language, I would encourage you to understand, there are those of us out there that would welcome a better handle of language and wit.  Please, Please, Please...try to use other words.  We are training our youth to speak with such words..that is heart breaking.  Where is our society going when our young ones do not understand the offense and use such words without a thought of what they mean.  Teach them to speak with intelligence and wit.  PLEASE!

I thought this below story is a great example of using your intelligence and wit instead of foul language...

  In 1977 Norman Mailer confronted Gore Vidal at a party after Vidal poorly reviewed one of Mailer’s books. Mailer’s anger boiled over and he sent Vidal to the ground with a punch. From the floor, Gore Vidal looked up and famously quipped: “Once again, words have failed Norman Mailer.” No doubt, Vidal could have unleashed a string of profanities at his aggressor. He surely had a mastery of taboo language comparable to his mastery of language in general. But his verbal fluency allowed him to craft an even wittier response. And had words not failed Mailer, perhaps he too would have reacted less crassly.